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Showing posts from May, 2020

Mindfulness

Have you every heard the term “take time to smell the roses?” That is mindfulness. Our minds race, our minds are busy, depressed, anxious, suicidal at times, psychotic but sometimes we need to take a moment to breathe, mindfully breathe and just simple be present in the moment. Put a pause on life. Hit the breaks and say”hey, this moment is for me and only me.” I practice mindfulness daily. Mindfulness pretty much means being present in the moment but there is much more than that. For example mindful petting my emotional support dog. I breathe deeply close my eyes, play meditation music/yoga music and just pet him. I enjoy how the moment. I feel the moment and how much I love my dog. I practice mindfulness in the morning when I drink my coffee. Even as I pour the cream and mix the stevia I mindfully enjoy the moment before a busy day. I put a pause on my racing mind and all the things I have to do and say “hey this time is for Mari.” Right now I’m just going to sip and savor my cup of ...

40, Bipolar and Planning a Baby

When my husband told me he wanted have a baby a little “goo goo,” I finally felt like maybe at this time it may be a beautiful and humbling experience. My mom is sick. My mom is my world and if something happens to her I will lose my mind. My family is very united and we have these big reunions and celebrations, birthdays and holidays at the Estrada’s is truly beautiful. Where will I go for thanksgiving or Christmas. My mom holds our family together. Planning this baby is what is giving me hope while my mom is sick.  I just turned 40 on April 20, 2020.  I’m diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I take a lot of medication but my psychiatrist has always instilled hope and told me that she believes I can do it and she would take me off work one year. She told me she would want me to focus on pregnancy yoga and being stress free. I’m courageous in many ways but I’m terrified of pregnancy. I’ve never had the courage until now. I have the best psychiatrist. She is ...