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Showing posts from June, 2021

Starbucks generosity after I recovered from COVID

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 My husband and I as Christians have always been compassionate to the homeless population. We always give to the homeless, buy them food and give them money and resources. There was one homeless lady my husband had compassionate for and touched his heart. He prayed with her and bought her Taco Bell and tried to find a shelter for her with no luck. He ended up building her a little tent and we gave her water and blankets and a pillow  that night. The following morning we worked harder on finding her a shelter with no luck. We took her to Starbucks for breakfast and after hours of trying to find a shelter I decided to buy her a tent and take her to downtown LA. I bought the tent at Target and the Christian retail clerk was very kind. I let her know I was buying a tent for a homeless woman and she thanked me for my kindness. She told me to take the homeless woman to the Mission shelter and told me God bless you. My husband and I drove her to the Misson shelter and I gave her some of my sw
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Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features and Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type: Coping Skills for psychosis My diagnosis for ten years was Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features. Once I started working full time and got private insurance Kaiser evaluated by and chased my diagnosis to Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type. I remember telling my psychiatrist “Oh my God! That sounds worse! And I wrote a book titled Bipolar Girl: My Psychotic Self. I can’t change the name now. Should it be Schizoaffective Girl:My Psychotic Self? That does not flow as good.” She said treatment would remain the same. The difference between Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features and Schizoaffective, Type is that with Bipolar Disorder with Psychotic Features you only get psychosis when you are manic. With Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar Type the psychosis is the primary part of the mental illness and the mood disorder comes secondary. Some people believe schizoaffective disorder is a comb

Hallucinations and Illusions: The Horns on the Virgin of Guadalupe

My mom looked deep into my eyes. I thought she was admiring me because I thought I was a prophet. I was certain that I was the chosen one and now I was going to meet Pope Francis. We were sitting at mass together at Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal Church. I was the chosen one and my special connection with God would make it possible for my mother to meet Pope Francis. Wow! My mom would be so proud of me. My mom would be so honored that she was the mother of the chosen one. When it was time for communion, my mom softly touched my hand and looked at me with her big brown eyes. I thought, Wow, my mom is in awe that she is the mother of a prophet. My mom was pure and innocent like the Virgin Mary. When mass was over, I walked up to the portrait of the Virgin of Guadalupe. I always stared at the portrait, and many times, the Virgin of Guadalupe smiled at me, but there were other times when her tongue stuck out, and she turned into the devil. Today, however, our blessed mother was smiling

When She Dolls Up

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                It is clinically evident that I had so much anxiety, depression, mood swings, and psychosis and that caused functional impairments. I was not even able to maintain my activities of daily living. Even taking a shower was a challenge so bad that I needed reminders from my husband. You can forget about putting on make up and when I walk my dog, Gypsy Blue, I sometimes don’t even put a brush through my hair. You should see me teleworking I really do look like a cave woman, barefoot, messy hair, mismatched clothes and yoga pants.             Finally, I knew I so desperately needed a makeover. I called my friend Silvia Monroe Baez, HairColorist . Silvia is absolutely beautiful ebony-black hair, red lips, and porcelain skin. She always looks stunning and presentable. I knew needed to be more like her and she was the right person to call.             I went to Jae Valentine Hair Studio, and upscale classy salon in the city of Downey. I was so completely overwhelmed that

Pandemic through the eyes of Paranoia

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  I live in a condo gated community and in my complex there are lakes and ducks, waterfalls, exotic looking birds. It is so peaceful but what happens when you hear a woman crying in the lake by your balcony and you go outside and there is nobody there. I know they are voices, auditory hallucinations triggered by stress. It makes it worse that I live next door to Rose Hills the cemetery. It gets creepy. I walk my dog and see illusions, I say to myself oh let me greet that little old lady and then suddenly she turns in a tall plant. I am really starting to fear that plant outside my door and wonder why the plant always turns in to a hunched old lady. I look to my kitchen at my barstools and see people eating on them but there is nobody really there. This pandemic has got me paranoid and stressed. My job is also stressful and making it worse. I can’t take this stress that is about to explode like a volcano. I just want to scream. There is a pandemic in the world but what happens w

When COVID hits close to home

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  Mother’s Day 5/10/2020   It was Mother Day 2020 when my 70 -year- old mother with a heart condition was placed on oxygen weak and dying of COVID-19. She had surgery previously due to her heart condition. She got COVID-19 from my brother and although he was recovering and getting healthy, We feared the unimaginable for our widowed mother. She is the most amazing nurturing and wonderful mother I could ever ask God and I couldn’t believe this was happening. We prayed. Oh we prayed. We had prayer coming across the globe, family in Mexico praying the rosary and Spanish Catholic novenas and family and friends all around the world. My husband and I humbly got on our knees and asked God   to heal my mother and may the “stripes of Jesus” heal her.   Suddenly a miracle, my mother improved and was released on Mother Day. I was still very nervous I would lose her, seeing how weak she was. When she got out the hospital she could barely talk but and she slowly took some breaths she said in Spa