A Poem about Depression out of Sight and Welcoming the Light


I promised myself after my last suicide attempt that I would never do it again
I almost lost my life and now I have learned how to live
Sometimes I begin to slip into that dark place
In which I isolate, lock myself in my room, cry, scream.
I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to shower or put on make up
It's just me and depression
And so two days later and stand tall and say:
NO MORE! I REFUSE TO GO BACK TO THAT DARK PLACE!
AND SO, I WELCOME THE LIGHT
That light is God
That light is my soul
That light is my mother
My sisters
My brothers
My friends
My co-workers
Career
My dreams
My goals
The light of tomorrow
And so when I begin to welcome the darkness
I welcome the light
DEPRESSION OUT OF SIGHT!
No more! It's over!
You will not conquer me!
I will destroy you!
So let me speak
I am a warrior
A survivor
A soilder
Depression will not take the best of me
Go away you wicked beast!
Live in this beautiful world
To my life I will embrace
The bright light and rainbow of today

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hallucinations and Illusions: The Horns on the Virgin of Guadalupe

My mom looked deep into my eyes. I thought she was admiring me because I thought I was a prophet. I was certain that I was the chosen one and now I was going to meet Pope Francis. We were sitting at mass together at Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal Church. I was the chosen one and my special connection with God would make it possible for my mother to meet Pope Francis. Wow! My mom would be so proud of me. My mom would be so honored that she was the mother of the chosen one. When it was time for communion, my mom softly touched my hand and looked at me with her big brown eyes. I thought, Wow, my mom is in awe that she is the mother of a prophet. My mom was pure and innocent like the Virgin Mary. When mass was over, I walked up to the portrait of the Virgin of Guadalupe. I always stared at the portrait, and many times, the Virgin of Guadalupe smiled at me, but there were other times when her tongue stuck out, and she turned into the devil. Today, however, our blessed mother was smiling
Read more

The Shaman

  Losing my mind was a slow process until one day it took over rapidly. My family became worried. I slipped into a psychotic episode. I would hallucinate and see shadows and demons. I began to combat the evil with prayer and the Bible. I became hyper-religious. I told my family that the devil was after me and that I was a prophet. I told them that the devil was in the house. My family is from a small ranch in Mexico. Through their traditions and culture they believed that maybe my mental illness was something spiritual or supernatural. My mother, years later told me that she did not know what to do or what was happening. All she knew was that she was desperate to help me. One day my mother and sister-in-law, Sophie, told me that we had to take a special trip. I didn’t know where we were going and I was too delusional to understand. They took me to a house with a small back house. I went into a room and saw a heavy man sitting down. He asked me to come in and have a seat. I saw al
Read more

When you Neglect Yourself

Image
“I knew I needed to slow down on life but I couldn’t. I tried to tough it out that I was physically sick. I’ve always been nurturing like my mom, listening to people, feeding people. People hear what I’m saying but don’t seem to listen. I was so busy taking care of everyone else, I was neglecting me. I would come home from work and by husband would hand me the ground turkey to make the meatloaf. I didn’t even get a chance to sit down and rest. I made meatloaf every other day. I cleaned and went to work talked to family and friends and didn’t focus that my body was trying to tell me something. Mari, you’re not well!” I got sick after eating undercooked meat at work one night. I’m a waitress. Something told me not to eat it because it was pink but I dug in and ate the whole thing. Minutes later I was running to the bathroom with diarrhea. I know TMI. Days later vomiting everyday. Every morning. My co-workers teased me that I was pregnant and there was a time I was convinced I was pregnan
Read more